i need to return some videotapes

Too posh lol

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 01:22:24 +0000

Too posh lol

Studying going well then… Apparently while taking notes is...

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:12:02 +0000

Studying going well then…

Apparently while taking notes is important, understanding them is crucial.

I am beyond confused at the moment.

I feel like there are so many things I need to learn, I can’t focus on just one of them, and the result is that I’m not learning anything.

Rubbish student, rubbish muslim.

Please make dua for me that Allah eases my struggles and helps me in my understanding and practice of Islam, so I am able to share with those around me the beauty of Islam, that they may fall in love with it as I did.

And the doubts start creeping in.

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 00:50:02 +0000

I think I’m too romantic to be a good muslim.

I can’t stop myself from worrying that I threw away my best chance of being happy to try and find someone more ‘supportive’. I feel stupid that I didn’t realise how much I was already supported, or that feelings, situations, people can change, and just because it didn’t work right now, doesn’t mean to say that it couldn’t work in the future.

Was I wrong to give up, and to look for something more? I joined a site in the hope of connecting with somebody else on a more spiritual level. I’ve had a lot of response from men just straight out asking me to marry them, but it all seems far too much like some kind of business arrangement, not based on actual feelings of love or affection towards each other. Am I asking too much to want to be in love with the man I’m going to marry? I don’t want to believe that’s not possible anymore.

I feel like I’m committing some kind of sin already, that I’m somehow doubting the plan Allah has for me. It isn’t like that. I’m just scared. I know this was all worth it, I just want the right person to share it all with, the one who can teach me things, and be there beside me the whole way.

I need some time to catch up with my sisters, a month is far too long!

My New Year started on 18th December 2012

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 19:45:37 +0000

Well I have been a little MIA on the writing front of late, but I have good reason.

It’s now been 20 days, almost to the minute, since I converted to Islam.

And not a lot has changed. Not that I was expecting it to, since I had already been making gradual changes before actually taking my shahada, but everybody asks me “what changes do you have to make to be Muslim? Is it hard?”

Honestly? It’s probably the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

Here are just a few of the questions I’ve been asked:

“Won’t you miss bacon sandwiches though?” I don’t eat meat. Never have, never will. If I’d ever had a bacon sandwich, I’m still pretty sure it is something I could give up, however given that I never have done, no, I will not miss bacon sandwiches.

“You’re not going to stop drinking though are you?” I don’t drink alcohol. Hands up to this one, I used to be a bit of a binge drinker. I’ve fallen asleep in bars, woken up under parked cars, injured myself falling down stairs, but it was never really something I actually enjoyed. My friends did it so I did it, otherwise I was the sober, boring one on the outside looking in. Now I realise I don’t need to do things that I don’t enjoy doing, and there are much better ways to spend my time than with my head resting on a toilet seat.

“So can you not have sex now until you get married?” Well… I could. I’m not going to be struck down by lightning if I do. But no, I don’t want to. I want to wait until I know I’m with the person that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, and that’s not likely to be the first guy I stumble into in the 3am queue at the takeaway on a Friday night. I guess in the culture nowadays, drinking and sex go hand in hand, but I’m not even going to go into all the dangers and downsides of that, I’ll just say that it does not interest me.

“Are you going to wear one of them scarf things now?” No I am not. I’m not just going to change every single thing overnight. I might choose to wear ‘one of them scarf things’ in the future, but for now, I feel more comfortable just dressing modestly and occasionally dragging a brush through my hair.

“So… are you a terrorist now?” Yes. Yes I am.

Well I need this tshirt right now.

Sat, 13 Oct 2012 22:06:51 +0100

Well I need this tshirt right now.

I do not like being ill

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 21:08:37 +0100

Looks like I’m going to have to stock up on those immune boosting vitamins, soft and chewy num num

Modify your approach please!

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 23:07:44 +0100

I know ultimately everything we’re learning is important, but honestly when she speaks I just hear “blah blah blah BLAHHH”. Most of my class are in their mid/late 40s (I’m one of the youngest, which is a strange feeling these days) and she has us designing posters to stick around the room that a) nobody else will ever see and b) don’t count at all towards any task we need to do. If that’s all we’re going to do for the lesson I’d rather just copy some notes out of a text book and go home early to watch Great British Bake Off. Fed up. On a positive note I really do love my TA placement. Kids are pretty funny. I’m excited to qualify now, only 8 months to go. Eek.

Was super duper bored in class today…

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 23:05:35 +0100

Was super duper bored in class today…

I actually prefer the lyric videos artists put out before they...

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 14:42:37 +0100

I actually prefer the lyric videos artists put out before they make the official video, maybe I prefer words to people. I guess it kinda taps in to my fascination with kinetic typography. This is my favourite.

So until I can afford a pair of Rainbow Galaxy Black Milk X...

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 21:45:00 +0100

So until I can afford a pair of Rainbow Galaxy Black Milk X Jeffrey Campbell boots, I figured I could make do with a DIY pair of galaxy shoes. I think they turned out pretty well for a first time effort.

Black Peep Toe Chunky Platform Heels - £14.99 from New Look

6 small Pots DecoArt SoSoft Washable Fabric Canvas Paint - £3.99 from eBay

Total cost: £18.98

Time spent: 2 hours

"People should marry across national and cultural boundaries with people from countries they consider..."

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 22:14:54 +0100

““People should marry across national and cultural boundaries with people from countries they consider to be their enemies so that the world of peace can come that much more quickly.””

- Sun Myung Moon

12.34pm. Webcam pictures. No makeup. Listening to French rap. In...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 00:35:25 +0100

12.34pm. Webcam pictures. No makeup. Listening to French rap. In no mood for sleep. Craving lemonade. Given up trying to sing along. Pretty confused about things. Going to get some lemonade.

Space Oddity

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 09:43:00 +0100

poeticislam:

Did anyone watch the latest ‘Horizon: How Big is the Universe’ on BBC Two? I am telling you that is one show to watch. It’s actually awesome, me and my brother were literally in awe. Subhan’Allah, we truly are nothing compared to what’s out there. If you can, watch it.

We are just one tiny planet in our Solar System, and our Solar System is just one member of a vast Milky Way galaxy with 200 to 400 billion stars.

There are more than 170 billion galaxies in the Observable Universe.

Light from beyond the Observable Universe has not yet had enough time to reach us, even if it started it’s journey 13.7 billion years ago when the Universe began.

The Universe is expanding.

Mind blown.

Everything will be okay in the end...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 17:51:07 +0100

I think things might be starting to work out, inshallah

Happy faces =] =]

A stunning visual representation of some things I like

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 02:17:21 +0100

A stunning visual representation of some things I like

Photo

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 00:40:03 +0100

Pretty lady would make me smile too.

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 04:07:28 +0100

Pretty lady would make me smile too.

Never thought the day would come when I would find myself agreeing with George Galloway

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 01:36:01 +0100

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2191224/George-Galloway-says-Assange-did-rape-women-Sweden-extradition.html

I got dem space legs <3 Taxi fare or space leggings? Well...

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:43:00 +0100

I got dem space legs <3

Taxi fare or space leggings?

Well worth the 5 miles I had to walk home.

This is the great English Summer we’re all used to.

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 23:22:54 +0100

This is the great English Summer we’re all used to.